Self-Defense Myths

Over the years, we've heard countless misconceptions and myths about self-defense. It's time to set the record straight and debunk some of the most common falsehoods. Here are a few crucial things that you should know are NOT true.

A woman is fully capable of defending herself against a man in a straight-up fight with minimal effort and training.
The reality of human anatomy is that males are generally bigger and stronger than females. In addition, the trauma and experience of being attacked can make even an experienced, trained woman freeze both mentally and physically. You must continuously train and practice to learn how to defend yourself in these potential situations. A woman that is informed or trained could avoid/escape/defend herself against just about anyone! 

It’s impossible for a woman to win any physical confrontation with a man who is bigger or stronger than them.
With the proper training, a woman could definitely win a physical confrontation with a bigger, stronger man. It may take a few hard, well-placed strikes to buy her time to run away. It may take a loud yell and confident presence to deter and distract the attacker long enough for her to get away, too. Either way, there are many ways in which a woman can “win” a confrontation with a man.

If being attacked by a bigger, stronger male, take it to the ground to even it up.
This is the last place you want to be. It’s 10x harder for you to defend yourself, run away, get help, etc. on the ground, and gives your attacker a better chance of succeeding in doing harm. That said, knowing how to defend yourself IF you end up on the ground is vital.

“Stranger danger”. Avoid all strangers to keep yourself safe.
According to RAINN, over 71% of all sexual assaults are committed by people who knew the victim beforehand (acquaintance, current or former partner/spouse, relative). So while being aware and cautious of strangers is important, the most danger in terms of sexual assaults comes from those who we know. Setting boundaries is more important than avoiding strangers. 

If you struggle at all, your attacker will likely back down as they don’t want a fight. 
This is not always true and you can’t rely on this. In fact, by only lightly struggling, you may anger/encourage your attacker to continue their assault and hurt you more. When you fight back (and you should) make sure you fight back hard.

Submit (or falsely submit) to your attacker because fighting back will make an attacker angrier and you will be hurt more. 
This is not always true either. Many attackers look for easy targets and if you lay there and play dead, you are giving them exactly what they want. However, like I mentioned above, you need to make sure you’re fighting back as hard and as confidently as possible. Different situations call for different solutions. If it is a “social” situation fighting back will escalate it and it might not be “self-defense”, whereas in an “asocial” situation fighting back is what you need to do. Different crimes have different goals. Understanding the GOAL of the crime will help you better understand your response. 

By avoiding/escaping instead of putting up a fight and standing up for yourself, you are weak and cowardly.
This is not being cowardly, this is being smart!! Avoidance and escape gives you a much better chance of survival than staying and fighting someone who is likely bigger and stronger than you. “It’s better to avoid than to escape… better to escape than to de-escalate… better to de-escalate than to fight… better to fight than to die”.

Groin strikes are a fight-ender.
Contrary to popular belief, groin strikes are about 50/50, and might not be that effective in the moment. Especially with the presence of adrenaline, it doesn’t have the immediate effect that we would like it to and the attacker often continues their attack with even more anger. If you use a groin strike be ready for either the end of a fight or the beginning of one

Put your car keys in between your fingers to punch your attacker.
You will probably end up hurting your hand more than the actual attacker. Instead, hold it like you would hold it to open your door: in between your key in between your thumb and your index finger to provide a much stronger foundation.

Carry a knife or pepper spray for protection.
You should never rely on one thing/object to protect you. In addition to physical self-defense training, a knife or pepper spray may be beneficial in increasing your level of force, as long as you are trained in how to use them. Also, be careful, what you bring into a fight can be used against you too.

Women don’t need self-defense training, men just need to train on how to properly behave.
This is unfortunately not true at all. Some people are just predators and while yes, men should know how to behave themselves and not attack women, it does still happen in today’s world. By training in self-defense, you are only doing yourself good by preparing yourself for a bad but potential situation. 

Don’t ever wear a ponytail because that’s what attackers look for.
If something is part of your daily life, we can not tell you not to do that! You should not change how you live based on a myth or out of fear. We can tell you how to adapt and how to be prepared. If you were targeted for a crime it probably wasn’t just because of your ponytail. We would suggest learning how to defend against a hair grab in this specific case. A ponytail is an easier handle and bad guys look for weakness in their victims. This ponytail could be analogous to high heels, long nails or the clothes you wear.